Monday, February 1, 2010

the Brits have spoken ... and I am amused

you mess with the chocolate you mess with the people.


George Tyndale, Birmingham Sunday Mercury: "Say goodbye to the delectable Creme Egg. Cadbury, one of the truly great British brands, has just been packaged up and sold to a tackey Yankee cheesemaker. That's right, Kraft, a firm famous for its plastic cheese squares, has bought up Cadbury, and our government couldn't do a thing to prevent it. So now we have to sit by and watch as British jobs go overseas. The Birmingham plant where Cadbury chocolates have been made for more than 100 years will surely be hacked, hacked, and hacked again by its new owners in the pursuit of profit. ... Kraft could easily ax any product in the Cadbury line, like Creme Eggs.


Joan Burnie, Glasgow Daily Record: "It's not as if Cadbury was in some sort of financial trouble. In fact, it was doing better than Kraft, which had to take out a huge loan to buy it. And here's the really painful kicker: Kraft borrowed the money from us, from the Royal Bank of Scotland. I suppose we'll have to accept the fact that our politicians won't do anything to stop this once proud nation becoming little more than an industrial corpse out of which the business vultures pick the choices bits. But at least they could tell those Yankees to bug off and look elsewhere for their filthy lucre."


Charlie Brooker, London Guardian: "This entire business couldn't be more distateful- literally. What if Kraft now tries to Americanize Cadbury? American chocolate is nothing short of revolting. When I first bit into a Hershey bar, I was plunged mouthwards into an entire universe of yuck. It tasted like carboard, but with a nastier, chalkier texture, as though this was a chocolate bar that had been found in the pocket of a Civil War soldier and preserved specifically for my disenchantment."


Anita Robinson, Dublin Irish News: "Americans just can't do sweets. Their most famous cookie, the Oreo, is two tooth breaking mahogany discs glued together with sweetened candle wax. Chocolate lovers everywhere can only hope that Kraft's bigwigs know how to appreciate Cadbury's uniquely creamy mouth feel, and don't try to change the recipe."


Andrew Clark, London Observer Magazine: "Takeovers happen. Stop tragically waving our union flags and calm down"

And don't you just want to go out and buy that dress?

2 comments:

Krissi said...

You are so hilarious.

Anonymous said...

resistance is futile....