So after I wrote my last blog this happened:
I was sitting on my beach chair watching the waves and waiting for dinner time when we will eat as a group on the deck ... it will be nice.
Three older women (maybe 60 ish?) wander down to the water close to where I sit. The oldest and heaviest one sits on the sand, and the other two go into the waves and surf the waves, laughing uproariously.
I have an impulse. To suggest to the older lady to sit in my chair - the sand is not comfortable for a heavy older person. And then go into the water and ask the other women if I can play with them.
No that is stupid. But it would be fun. Here I sit all docile and boring. Why not. Oh I can't. Oh why not. I should. I will be mad at myself if I don't. Okay. This might work. It might not.
So I get up and invite the woman to sit in my chair. She is grateful.
I go into the water and immediately the women invite me into their conversation - we laugh as the waves toss us around. We talk a bit about health care. We look for sand dollars.
After we part, laughing, they return and invite me to come to dinner with them. I can't of course, but I feel like a kid who has just made a friend. Because I got off my chair. Because I followed an impulse. I laughed. I've experienced the ocean in a way I wouldn't alone. I feel darned happy.