Monday, August 22, 2011

fierce with reality

In order to make our life fully real and truly ours we need only to embrace its truths. When we truly accept all that we are, all that we have done, and all that has been our history and experience, then and only then can we be - to adopt the phrase of Florida Scott Maxwell - "fierce with reality." There is no substitute for this fierce engagement with reality when one seeks to live life fully. (quote from David Benner's book, Soulful Spirituality.)

For 35 years after I gave birth and released a baby to adoption I thought I could put it behind me and move on. In fact, much of the Christian talk I heard (and gave :0) was about God washing away our sins and hurts and moving us forward, clean and new. The old behind us is dead, we are new.

What is wrong with this is it takes the metaphor of soul cleansing too far, into an unhealthy realm, really. Because as we lop off the 'bad' or sad bits of our story, we lop of parts of ourselves. And in the end, we need those parts.

Rarely, a person would engage me in spiritual conversation that created space for my story of a lost child to bubble up, and a comment would be made: 'you need to find that person!' I would think, Why? What difference will it make? Just curiosity? I do not allow myself curiosity. It is not my right." I did not wonder, except rarely, usually on birthdays, and I did not see much benefit to a reunion. It would not change anything.

But a longing I didn't even recognize grew. We are hungry people, all of us - hungry for many things and rarely mindful enough to actually identify them. These hungers of mind and soul haunt us, until we find ourselves standing with the fridge door open, cold air sinking to our feet, saying, "Hmmm. What do I need?" And we pick out a piece of lemon meringue pie, or a beer. But the hunger remains. Unnamed. Wanting.


The experience of meeting Mark has been and is fierce with reality on so many levels. The spiritual healing is simply this - that I am brought back into wholeness. Not wholeness like no limping or wounds. Wholeness like all my parts together in one place. I discovered the experience of my unplanned pregnancy is not any more a 'sin' experience than any other experience of human life. It is marked by greatness and ordinariness, brokenness and blessing. And I came to find that God was with me, deeply accepting and loving me through it all, working to redeem and remove roadblocks for me and Mark. And that I NEED that time of lost-ness to be located consciously and vibrantly in my soul, to be well and whole. Wellness is not perfection. It is a fierce reality.

What has happened to, in, and by us is ours to transcend and integrate. The deep work of spirituality is to discard the many selves we are trying to re-invent, and become the self we are. Our true self is unique, but not a uniqueness we choose. (More on this later.)It is a uniqueness deep within that we disclose, with greater courage and love, as we grow in openness. And this is the easy load Jesus talks about. Being your own true self is the elegant art of simple, integrated living.

28 comments:

Katie Kermeen Swisher said...

"What has happened to, in, and by us is ours to transcend and integrate. The real work of spirituality is to discard the many selves we are trying to re-invent, and become the self we are. Our true self is unique, but not a uniqueness we choose. (More on this later.)It is a uniqueness deep within that we disclose, with greater courage and love, as we grow in faithfulness. And this is the easy load Jesus talks about. Being your own true self is the elegant art of simple, integrated living."

This is beautiful...I can't wait to read more on this!

Rhonda Maccarone said...

This entire story was a 'God thing' from beginning to end.....and it still continues. I'm sure so much more will be woven in. I can't wait to see what happens next. It truly has turned into a fairy tale come true! It's one of those stories that years down the road no one will ever believe. Glad I was around to see it. Co's I'd never have believed it. [There's faith for ya eh?]
Love you Marilyn, you truly are God's child....you have his finger prints all over your life!

Karla said...

I rejoice with you, Marilyn, in this wholeness. What you wrote reminded me of when I realized that "If we walk in the light as He is in the light..." meant living in this fierce reality you talk about...not in perfection. What a relief!! He is there, in reality, no matter what else that reality holds. How amazing...

Anonymous said...

S, and can be inсorporated onto the іnterioг οr exterіor
of the empty seаt іn fгont οf the alphabеt businеss гanging from 23-77 yеars old.
The secοnd question is: whу do they choose these
locations? Types of safety equіpmеnt
like watеr, cаrbon dіoxide, drу powԁеr and wet chemical extinguishers
onlу beсome еffective if used аpρropriately.


Αlso visit my blog :: internet marketing tactics

Anonymous said...

However there is little evidence that this cleansing process is also
called a Bowtrol Colon Cleanse foot bath.

my blog; how to naturally detox your body

Anonymous said...

Local- business for small business is almost equivalent to quality content; it should never be ignored and equal importance should
be given. Evaluate experience of a company:- It is extremely
essential to check the number of advertisements, it would be a
good idea. The Importance of BacklinksTo be clear,
the primary goal of search engine optimization and it is indexed
more profoundly. For other link building packages but you should
chose one carefully.

Here is my homepage :: increasing search engine optimization

Anonymous said...

The Electronic Frontier Foundation EFF and The Progress & Freedom Foundation PFF on Monday
said that they had filed an amicus brief with the court arguing that
industry video game content? The pinging call of duty 4 multiplayer becomes continuous
as you move around you burn more calories than pressing a button.

The gaming industry cares about Genx and so has put into place testing systems and advisory systems to protect children from the detrimental effects of
gaming on regular basis. Each of the past.



Also visit my web site: call of duty black ops zombies online Game

Anonymous said...

What types of questions do you ask in those first few emails to a stranger on an online tips to
get ur ex boyfriend back site. Beware, such a relationship will
help to boost your awareness, tighten your calibration, and add rocket fuel to your determination.


my blog post ... get back with the ex

Anonymous said...

Hi! Quick question that's totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I'm trying to
find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this problem.
If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!

My page; relevant web-site

Anonymous said...

To help alleviate the effects of their current atmosphere
and carry out orders smoothly. The birds will actually make it a point to take hurricane chasers in Leeds into consideration so that you aren't putting too much stress on it every time you fill up your own cup with water.

my web-site ... storm chasing 2013

Anonymous said...

Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so
I came to take a look. I'm definitely enjoying the information. I'm book-marking
and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog
and outstanding style and design.

My web-site - where to get backlinks

Anonymous said...

Doh! I was domain name shopping at namecheap.com and went to type in the domain name:
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7273706721735028462&postID=2701664045366235899
and guess who already acquired it? You did!
haha j/k. I was about to shop for this domain name but noticed it was taken so I thought I'd come check it out. Great blog!

Take a look at my web site - find auto insurance

Anonymous said...

Howdy! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give
a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading through your posts.
Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects?
Thanks!

my blog post source for this article

Anonymous said...

Amazing blog! Do you have any suggestions for
aspiring writers? I'm planning to start my own site soon but I'm a
little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a
free platform like Wordpress or go for a
paid option? There are so many options out there that
I'm completely overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Kudos!

Here is my web-site: Full Content

Anonymous said...

Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due to no backup.

Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

my webpage - visit this weblink

Anonymous said...

Gday! My name is Manuela and I just wanted to say your site is awesome!
It's surprising due to the fact I use to have a blog site that nearly had an identical url: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7273706721735028462&postID=2701664045366235899 mine was only a few letters different. Anyways, I'm a big admirer of your web site and if you
ever want a guest post please make sure to
email me at: manuelakellogg@yahoo.com. I take pleasure in writing!



Also visit my web-site ... best link building services

Anonymous said...

Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after
I clicked submit my comment didn't appear. Grrrr... well I'm
not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!


Here is my page: one way link building service

Anonymous said...

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it
seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste
your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving
us something informative to read?

my website; visit the following internet page

Anonymous said...

Hi there outstanding blog! Does running a blog similar to this require a lot
of work? I've virtually no expertise in programming however I had been hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyways, should you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic nevertheless I simply wanted to ask. Thanks!

Feel free to surf to my web site; top 10 auto insurance companies

Anonymous said...

Does your website have a contact page? I'm having problems locating it but, I'd like to shoot you an email.
I've got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.

My page: More Information and facts

Anonymous said...

Greetings! I've been reading your blog for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the fantastic job!

My site ... Full Record ()

Anonymous said...

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but
your sites really nice, keep it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Many thanks

Feel free to visit my web site :: check my site

Anonymous said...

With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation?
My website has a lot of unique content I've either created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you know any solutions to help protect against content from being ripped off? I'd really appreciate
it.

My web blog - view

Anonymous said...

Hello are using Wordpress for your blog platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying
to get started and set up my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge
to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!


Feel free to visit my web-site - Visit This Link

Anonymous said...

WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching
for link building tools

Feel free to surf to my weblog - Read More On this page

Anonymous said...

Do you mind if I quote a several of your articles or blog
posts as long as I provide credit and sources returning to your
blog: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7273706721735028462&postID=2701664045366235899.
I am going to aslo ensure to give you the appropriate anchortext link using your blog title: Blogger:
amma talk - the little way. Please be sure to let me know
if this is okay with you. Thanks!

Stop by my weblog ... just click the next post - -

Anonymous said...

Does your website have a contact page? I'm having a tough time locating it but, I'd like to send you an
e-mail. I've got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

Also visit my page :: Who Is The Best Seo Company

Anonymous said...

Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar
one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam responses?
If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can
suggest? I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any assistance is very much appreciated.

Also visit my blog - best backlink service