Wednesday, September 15, 2010

36 years

So we passed our 36th anniversary yesterday. September 14th, a magical date for no-one but us. We chose it for some reason I am sure, and by choosing it made it part of our story.

Steve says the thing he remembers most on that day is walking over to the grocery store to buy polish for his shoes. He remembers thinking, "I am buying polish for my shoes because I am getting married today." He wanted someone to tell. But there was no one. So he went home, to no one, and polished his shoes.

Steve and I both grew up in a small house full of kids and mostly not enough money to go around. But one poverty that both of us endured was unnecessary. Neither of our families knew how to enter into the other person's life to pay attention, notice, celebrate.

Once when we drove across the border from Windsor to Detroit, getting lost and ending up in a rough neigborhood, I noticed how there was no sign of Christmas on any houses. Only very occasionally was a wreath or bow attached to a door or window. I pondered and realized that when there isn't enough, all the celebration fades. When there isn't enough money, yes, but more so, when there isn't enough hope, enough energy, enough support, enough gentleness. When there isn't enough it is survival with no frills.

That was the condition of both our homes on September 14th, l974. On that morning I sowed daisies into a kind of bouquet to carry down the brief isle, and Steve sat on his crumbling porch, polishing his shoes.

Our marriage has been much better than our wedding was.

6 comments:

Corrie said...

Happy Anniversary, Marilyn and Steve! You are both such beautiful people.

Krissi said...

I am glad your marriage has been better than your wedding. Really, shouldn't it always be that way? How sad when it's not! And it sure makes me smile seeing you two together:)

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary, you two! You have done a great job of learning to pay attention, notice, and celebrate, and you, your family, and all those around you have benefited.

Sharon

Lee Ann said...

Your story (you and Steve) always makes me cry. I am so moved my your ability to rise above your circumstances and love deeply and well. What beauty you have brought into this world! Happy Aniversary!

rachel said...

i love this post, mom... xoxo

schmidthouse said...

What a beautiful picture of the two of you...in words and in the photo!
I, too, am glad that your marriage has been better than your wedding...Happy Belated Anniversary to you both.