... I was drying my hair this morning thinking about our tribe. It seems to me that we are not a better family than many. In fact, we are FULL of personality which makes us full of possible offenses. I think what makes the difference for us is the strong desire to forgive.
I know that I have the capacity to offend my kids more than twice in three weeks. I know I have disappointed them... often as not without even knowing it - we can do that to each other.
But they have not cut me out. They have not said things that make a relationship dangerous to continue. They have not threatened me.
One of the marks of our family is kindness. We tend toward kindness. And we forgive forgive forgive. Forgiveness is the only way to sustain kindness.
I am so glad to be in a tribe that doesn't keep record of wrongs. The air between us is clear. Because we forgive.
CSLewis - one of my mentors - says that we have to begin our days forgiving each other even before we get up out of bed. The other person, simply by being 'other' will offend us. The way forward is to forgive them unilaterally, simply forgive them for being who they are,for not being 'me'. (Sort of reveals our own selfish perspective doesn't it?) To do this is to create a state of mind, to establish a foundation of relationship, acknowledging before hand that my own pleasures and rights will make who you are something of an offense, at some point. So before that happens I let it go. Then when we collide I can laugh instead of fume.
I have another idea to write about but I had to say this first. Happy Sabbath.