Sunday, March 22, 2009

one twenty in the morning


It is one twenty in the morning and I cannot sleep. A loud snoring nose from somewhere in the bedroom woke me, I won't mention any names. I lay awake and the darkness allows me to feel my emotions and realize I have threads of fear woven through my being. Interesting.

It could be that my little grandson who lives in Indonesia has typhoid fever. Not good. He is in the hospital built in the fifties by Seventh Day Adventists. Thank God for Seventh Day Adventists who did this kind thing that has saved his life.

Or it could be that my friend is losing her home to unemployment and all that stuff. I sit in my beloved home and wonder how one deals with such a loss.

Perhaps it is about my long term friend who is living with cancer which also means living with chemo and exhaustion and all kinds of unhappy bodily stuff.

Or maybe just because I love my people so much, especially the wee ones, and so wish I could protect them. But I can't.

There are enough twists in life to make any of us fearful. This is why I pray. I get up at one twenty in the morning and sit on the couch by a light and simply pray.

I don't pray to make things all better, to fix things. I pray to orient myself, to make peace with life and to hope.

It makes sense to me to do this when it is one twenty in the morning and I can't sleep.

7 comments:

Krissi said...

He was too young for a typhoid vaccine? I pray he gets better soon. Hope you were able to get some sleep.

Anonymous said...

Will be praying....
for your grandson
for your friend in financial crisis
for your friend in a health crisis
for you and your husband our pastor as you continue to be open and loving, strong and soft, faithful, servants of our most loving and Almighty Father
kirsten

Lloyd & Sharon said...

I was just looking at Ben & Kari's brochure in my Bible this morning, and wondering how they were doing. I will be praying for Blaise. I trust Flora is well.

Sharon

Vincent said...

Perhaps it is that your son was eating crickets and mealworms? (smile). Chin up: as Tolkien said, "It's easy to be afraid at night. In the dark the idea of dragons seems much more believable."

Marilyn said...

Love that Jordan - dragons and serpants and spiders and all manner of evil. I like you. I like that you know these kinds of things.

Mrs Moose said...

This, MarilynIva, THIS is why I love you to pieces... you and God and life sitting on the couch making peace with one another at one twenty in the morning.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Marilyn. My name is Melissa Gabehart. My sister (Tanya Crockett) attends First Alliance with you. I would like to speak with you if you wouldn't mind giving me a call. I can be reached at 502-432-1001. Thank you!