Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Love Letter to my body - from another woman I love


Dear old friend,

It goes without saying; there has not been a moment in my life when you have not been there. Of course, in my youth I did not notice you. I ran across the playground with reckless abandonment, sometimes falling and injuring you. In those moments, you would softly let me know that you were there, for a moment. But you were quick to heal and fade back into the background of my life.

Then I entered my teens, and I finally began to notice you. But when I looked at you, I did not see you through the eyes of my youth and innocence, instead I began to view you through the eyes of the world. This lens seemed to distort you. Portions of you looked too big while others seemed too small, nothing seemed to match the ideal body of the women of the world. I was dissatisfied with you. I went through periods of reckless abandonment, not valuing you. I lived fast.  But you remained faithful and sat silently in the background.

I then entered my twenties, and you still didn’t match the ideal woman, so I began to abuse you, to try to squeeze you into the body of this “perfect” woman.  I went for long runs, I worked too long, I didn’t give you any rest, I refused to feed you and the little food that I did provide, I refused to let you digest, and instead I took pills to force it out of you. But you remained faithful and sat silently in the background.

As I neared my thirties, I decided it was time to ask you to step up and do something quite miraculous. I asked you to incubate another little body. And even though I had abused you, you did it quite beautifully, several times. Those years I neglected you, not giving you rest, not eating right, chasing after these three little children, and you remained faithful and sat silently in the background.

When my forties came around, I stopped chasing children but continued to feed you as though you were chasing them. I watched you grow larger and larger, and you began to softly tell me that this was too much. But I ignored you and continued to neglect you.

As I near my fifties, I realize that even though you have remained faithful, you can no longer sit silently in the background. It is impossible for you to hide the abuse anymore. You are still faithful, and you always rise to the occasion, but afterward, I hear your moans.

I am sorry my dear friend. I cannot undo the abuse, but I do want to stop the abuse and neglect. I thank you for all the years of service to me. Let us walk gently into the future.


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