I was cleaning my office/prayer room today and found a tiny journal that I filled in 2007 throughout the spring. The whole journal is not more than 3 x 4 inches, maybe not that. A tiny book of 80 sheets filled during a BIG time in my life. I decided I am going to blog everyday-ish of advent from this journal.
"After a lot of inner turmoil I decided to stay as close to my own heart as possible." Henri Noewen from "In the Name of Jesus."
It strikes me as a strange thing that knowing and staying with one's own heart is a significant human struggle. You would think, basically, it should be a no-brainer. But it is a pretty big brainer. The journey into one's own heart is pretty much a life-time project.
In my journal I penned these questions: How close am I to my own heart now? Why did I crash (in l99l)? What have I recovered? What have I lost and not recovered?
The journey into one's heart is a sacred pilgrimage, and God is our fellow pilgrim. I am confident of this. Trying to find God, to find our journey outside of ourself, well, it just doesn't work. The closer we are to our own heart the more our life has the potential to be a source of life for others.
Today staying close to my own heart means risking and making choices that might not align with the conventions of my community, let alone the wider culture. But staying as close to my heart as possible is going to be my commitment in this decade.