Saturday, January 26, 2013

Step one and a half

I have gotten the wrong end of the stick! This morning as I read and meditated I came to a huge realization. The last blog was all about powerlessness, but I missed the point entirely. I knew it had something to do with not being able to fix my own addictions, my own crazies. But it is not really about that. Those things - the things I wrote about etc - are only a window to help me look onto the real issue.

Step one is not admitting I need help to control my eating, or to manage certain ways of being. Step one is the realization that I need transformation at the very core and then these things won't be powerful in my life.

Transformation, not expanded will power. Transformation, not support in my choices. Sheesh. This is suddenly a lot bigger.

This moves the issues from efforts to get my life to the order it needs and into invitation for my life to be a feast at the rich banquet provided by God. It is about another level of living.

I have been on a journey of transformation since 1991 and still have so much to learn and explore. As you SEE, I have also a vast array of areas where my own life is rough and dangerous. The invitation as I understand it now is simply to let go. Start with letting go.

I have a spiritual father who told me years ago, when you are at the end of your rope, let go. The whole purpose of coming to the end of our rope is to give us no more options.

Transformation. I am getting it now. Not a better a life. A whole new universe.


Lee Ann said...

When I look back at my own life and issues with my weight(eating), I can see that despite my efforts at self control, dieting, etc., when I am living in the light of transformation my wieght goes down, and when I drift back to my old ways (like now) my weight goes up.

I am so glad you are back!

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Karla said...

I love this! When I was praying tonight, I realized that just when I want to make life smaller, more containable & manageable God says, "No, bigger." I say, "yes!" I want a God-life.

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amberly said...

I'm glad you're writing. :) This is good stuff.

I think this shift you write about is a huge one for Christ-followers today. On my own, I can do "observation, interpretation, application" in an effort to reach for more power. But I am powerless to bring about my own transformation. Which is, contrary to my can-do impulses, good news to grab on to!

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