If I Had Eight Hundred Billion Dollars (musical notes)

... I'd buy a new house...

No. No I wouldn't. If I had EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS I would be cutting them from the US defense budget. Well, start at Four Hundred Billion but they expect to cut twice that. Hmmm, Mr. Speaker of the House, where will this leave us vulnerable? Is national security at risk?

I heard all about this on NPR, the left wing commie radio broadcast I wake up to every morning. Boy are those people hot about the economy. Anyway, I laid there with the great lump of Big Steve beside me, snoring into my right ear, and my NPR broadcaster droning on about the military cuts into my left, and I drifted into that half dreaming half thinking state.

What if we cut so much from the military budget that we couldn't fight anymore? What if there was no one to fly the plane to drop the bomb. What if Greece had to cut its military budget and so did North Korea. What would happen if there was NO MILITARY MONEY anywhere?!! Would those EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS go to moms who are raising kids alone? Or to get braces for kids with teeth sticking out sideways? Or how about having medical care for everyone over 70? Oh Marilyn, stop being so socialist!!!

Okay, I thought-dreamed on. What if I had to cut EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS from my very own defense budget. What would I cut? Oh, you didn't know I had a defense budget? I do and it is quite large. I spend it on protecting myself ... I use it to fortify my borders and protect my ass ets.

I could probably afford to cut some from my self righteousness budget that I draw from when someone criticizes me. I do have extra there. I could manage to cut some from my emotional energy stockpile that I dip into when I am feeling insecure and need to intimidate someone to make us (me) feel equal. Then of course there is the overspending on solid doors that I close on people who I imagine don't like me. Actually I have quite a defense budget.

So the US is going to cut EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS from the defense budget. Hmmm. Bombs cost so much more than bread. Maybe we could drop bread instead of bombs just half the time - kind of a lottery where the bomber doesn't know what is loaded. That might equal EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS.

I am not against the military. I will take my hat off to anyone who has paid a price for me to live in a country like this. My dream thinking is just wondering. Wondering what it would take to stop everything still for one minute. Kind of like Christmas morning in the song about Snoopy and The Red Baron. Just for one moment everyone stand still. No hurting, no killing, no hate. Deep inside I fear that we have gone past the tipping point and the one moment can never ever happen. Even without the extra EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS.